Jeff Foxworthy's YOU MIGHT BE A SCHOOL EMPLOYEE IF...

Subject: Jeff Foxworthy's YOU MIGHT BE A SCHOOL EMPLOYEE IF...

....you believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick

....you want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off

....you can tell it's a full moon or if it going to rain, snow,hail....anything!!! Without ever looking outside

....you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy,the kids sure are mellow today."

....when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior

....you have no social life between August and June

....you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to
reproduce

....you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge."

....you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or homeschooling and are willing to donate the UHAUL boxes should they decided to move out of district

....you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form

....you can't imagine how the ACLU could think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public

....meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"

....you would choose a mammogram over a parent conference

....you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that matter

"So often we try to alter circumstances to suit ourselves, instead of letting them alter us, which is what they are meant to do."

--Mother Maribel

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe and the biran fguiers it out aynawy.

Dear Ms. Hock

"Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater."
~Gail Godwin


xrox101@yahoo.com> wrote:>

Dear Ms. Hock,

Ms. Hock, you were a great teacher! When I got you I thought that you would be mean, but after the first day, I realized you were an excellent person!!
I'm so glad I got u because you are a very nice teacher and you make things fun! You make a lot of things seem like a game so we like it more! Leaving you was VERY hard!
> I wanted to cry sooooooooo bad!! Next year I am going to come and help Ms. Holz so I will stop by and see you! Leaving you was terible and I wish I could stay with you, but aforchantly i can't! :_(
You were a very funny teacher, you always made me laugh! You made avery thing more fun!! Thank you for being such a GREAT teacher!

I gave the kids my e mail address on the last day of school & just got around to checking messages since my internet was turned off.

I am so silly about second- guessing myself.
I am totally gonna work on the self-confidence thing.

From Tom Brokaw's commencement address to the Stanford class of 2006:

The memorable people for me represent that vast population of young and old of every hue and origin who gave up comforts and convention to answer their conscience, who are guided by their moral compass to difficult challenges and who are determined to make a difference. They lived in the real world and they took responsibility for it. They did not attach themselves simply to a virtual experience and find satisfaction in a search engine. They were boots on the ground, hands in the dirt, nights in scary places, healing and courageous. They stepped into the unknown and they made it more welcoming for the rest of us....

These are difficult times. We are at war. And this war, as all wars are, is one freighted with mistakes and miscalculations, lethal consequences, highly charged emotions, defeats and successes. It is the debate in which we all have a say. I have a special place in my mind and in my heart for those who understand that patriotism is not a loyalty oath. I am never more proud to be an American than when a fellow citizen steps forward and says, "Can't we do better?"

Loose Ends

There are a lot of ends in my life right now, and nearly all of them are loose.

This is the first day in - I literally don't know how long - that I have been home before seven on a weekday. For instance, dinner has transformed from a meal often cooked at home (cereal or baked potato usually) to the question, "what shall I make tonight that will be delightful, new, and exciting?"

I believe that the mind needs space and time to wander, for one's sanity. Time to notice and take in and wonder, time to think morbid thoughts and silly thoughts and worry a little, time to hear the way words sound together and take in the smells and sounds of the street, time to remember and to anticipate. Without that, my mind, at least, becomes forgetful, errands and appointments and commitments overlooked, papers misplaced, phone calls unreturned. I stay up late because when I do not give it time to wander, my mind seizes that time at the end of long days.

This weekend I had a wonderful weekend where I didn't have to contemplate all of the loose ends that I have in my life right now. Instead, my mind wandered A LOT. I allowed all of the loose ends to disinegrate as a fleeting thought the moment it started to enter my mind.

Gotta have weekends like that...........

"What do you do all day?"

"Then followed that beautiful season... Summer....Filled was the air with a dreamy and magical light; and the landscapeLay as if new created in all the freshness of childhood."
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


As I ease into the throws of summer, I am constantly asked how I spend all of my free time. I ask myself, what free time? It's easy to take for granted some of those luxuries that other individuals have like having an hour for lunch, having time to be in front of a computer to get a lot of personal work done, or are able to leisurely make phone calls throughout the day to make plans for an upcoming evening.

While it was certainly a sacrifice to give up some luxuries by not working in a cube anymore, I wouldn't trade them for what I have now. While now & then it's so easy to forget this each school night of the 180 days that I have to grade papers, spend extra time after school, or run errands in the name of getting supplies for a lesson plan--during the summer I cherish doing some of the things that I take for granted. Simple things like really spending time & petting my cat, finding new authors to read, spending time knowing actual lyrics to songs rather then just knowing them by their hooks, and cleaning out my car for christsakes!! Silly things seem like such a luxury for me. For instance, I can drink all I want throughout the day & don't have to hold it until I have gotten my class quiet enough to treust them to leave the room. ......hee hhee

Inevitably everytime that I am asked the question of "What do you do all day during the summer?", I have to smile because I am playing ahuge catching up game. I journal, I read, I go through all of my bills and try to muster up more money creatively in an effort to make beautiful memories of my summer. I live each day to it's absolute fullest. I look back at the winter and remember nights of falling asleep at 9 or 9:30 & sigh. It seems like ages ago that I was getting up every morning at 5:45, & it's only been three weeks that I have been off.

I relax. I breathe deeply. I think. I try to be more thoughtful. Yep, they're heady goals for only 10 weeks.........................but it's what I do all day.