Loose Ends

There are a lot of ends in my life right now, and nearly all of them are loose.

This is the first day in - I literally don't know how long - that I have been home before seven on a weekday. For instance, dinner has transformed from a meal often cooked at home (cereal or baked potato usually) to the question, "what shall I make tonight that will be delightful, new, and exciting?"

I believe that the mind needs space and time to wander, for one's sanity. Time to notice and take in and wonder, time to think morbid thoughts and silly thoughts and worry a little, time to hear the way words sound together and take in the smells and sounds of the street, time to remember and to anticipate. Without that, my mind, at least, becomes forgetful, errands and appointments and commitments overlooked, papers misplaced, phone calls unreturned. I stay up late because when I do not give it time to wander, my mind seizes that time at the end of long days.

This weekend I had a wonderful weekend where I didn't have to contemplate all of the loose ends that I have in my life right now. Instead, my mind wandered A LOT. I allowed all of the loose ends to disinegrate as a fleeting thought the moment it started to enter my mind.

Gotta have weekends like that...........