Speaker of the house......not

I recently bragged to someone that I no longer have any fear of public speaking. I maintained that having been a teacher gave me sort of a barrier against it. I am totally used to standing up in front of people and asking things of them or telling them to do things. I thought I just wasn't prone to fear anymore in front of groups.

I think I have just got so used to being in front of kids so much that I am losing my pinache with people that are over 12. "Note to self---work on being a more interesting, thoughtful, and witty person."

At any rate, I do not enjoy being the center of attention at all. I seem to get it by default. Whether it be locking my keys in the car 2 days in a row & having AAA know me by name, or something of the like---I seem to attract the wrong kind of attention sometimes.

I remember when I first got the realization of my fear of getting up front in a group. I had to speak in front of colleauges and realized pretty quickly that an ex boyfriend was in the audience. Drats!!! Creeping doom!!!

I start feeling these welps on my neck.

I can feel myself getting hotter and hotter.

I am praying no one can tell.

Now I am done.
I am gonna pretend that I am excusing myself to go to the bathroom to check to make sure that I am not going to throw up in front of everyone.
It was as bad as I thought, like a bad dream. The redness was everywhere. I hate blushing. It's so obvious. It's like a huge sign on my forehead that says "I care what people think about me."

I thought I was more comfortable in my skin as I got older.
Where did this blushing idiot girl come from?