Changes

"The man who looks for security, even in the mind, is like a man who would chop off his limbs in order to have artificial ones which will give him no pain or trouble. "
~Henry Miller

As I sipped my Starbucks the other morning in perfect, unknowing bliss, I was completely unaware of any of the developments that were coming my way. I had briefly given thought about the sky falling inevitably since life had been going so great for such an extended period of time, but my conflict -avoidance personality disorder usually runs those thoughts off pretty quickly. Everyday life, within a matter of mere hours can change the journey. Of course, who the hell knows why---but it happens.

Take for instance last week. I remember thinking to myself as I was putting my groceries in the car in the pouring rain that I needed to go back inside. Unknowingly, I had not paid for items that I left at the bottom of the cart. I rememnber saying to myself. "self, you need to turn the car around and pay for the items or your karma will be screwed." I shrugged it off as a mistake and went about my day, trying not to get soaked again in the process. That seemed to put into motion a series of events that will be hard to get back. After all, they are the past, no looking back.

In between that time I have had some completely random stuff happen. I know it's that time of change again for me. It happens like every three years for me, & that time has quickly come around again. I am glad that I don't have to reinvent the wheel again. That's one of the advantages of age. However, it doesn't make it any more easier sometimes. I guess I will just look at this a year from now & giggle that I was being so philosophical about somethong so little.