32, and counting

In my younger years I always thought that women who worried about their age were incredibly vain and stupid. I have always said that I couldn't wait until I was in my 30's. I guess I have always felt like I would have everything together by then... I wouldn't worry what people thought of me, I would fully understand why I am who I am and why I do what I do. I would just relax, like the work of figuring out who I was would be over.

But this upcoming birthday is kicking my ass. I know that my life is going fine...I finally figured out what I want to do with my career and where I want to live and what is important to me (being near family-- didn't see that one coming). All of this is good. Why am I so depressed?
Age is a state of mind, I know. You are as old as you feel, right? Well, I feel too young to feel this old. I feel too unfinished for 32. I'm not who I hoped I'd be in a lot of ways. I'm getting wrinkles. I am too impulsive. I don't think things through. I don't save money. I don't eat breakfast. I never live up to my "potential". Etc.

I am hoping that this malaise is just birthday induced and that I will snap out of it. I'll keep you posted.